hey wats up? i was thinking about all the stuff that has happened to me and i thought i would write some of it down. for those of you who know me really well, you know that i all ways have some part of me that is injured. i do most of it to myself. not purposely but i just do alot of crazy things. yall know that im just a little crazier then your average guy. well out of all the times i have gotten hurt, bleed, limped, or just hid my pain, there is one time i want to talk about. most every body that reads this blog knows that i got hurt over the summer and it was pretty serious. i got a severe concusion and twice i had an interesting expierence. i was bleeding inside my head and i couldn't do anything about it. i dont remember any of this im just going by what i was told. but there is one thing i do remember. i was laying on the bed in the ER and i was fading away. i could feel my breath slowing down and everything was just stopping.i could barely see and they were struggling to keep me awake. but one time i went to sleep. i dont know for how long but i know it happened. as i was laying on the bed with my eyes shut, it was like somebody shined a bright light in my face. i looked up at it and what i saw was the most amazing thing ive ever seen. i saw a golden stair case with a a chior dancing behind it. then i saw a dark headed figure walk down the stairs and reach out to grab my hand. i couldnt see his face but i saw his body. for the first time in my life o saw an angle. and not just one. i saw the entire chior. any ways. the angle on the stair case reached out his hand and just as i stuck my hand out to grab his, i heard him say this. THIS IS NOT YOUR TIME. ITS TO SOON. YOU ARE STILL NEEDED HERE. and then he turned and walked back up the stair case and the chior went away. the lights went out. it was completely dark. then i heard a nurse say get the chopper ready. then i woke up. its all a little blury after that but that next day at church i started passing out agian. my mom got me to the prayer room and i layed on the floor. everything went black and then i saw it agian. the same thing i saw the day before. i remember saying just take me home now. but then he said the same thing. agian. i can still see it in my head. it was the most beautiful thing ive ever seen. you may not believe me but thats the honest truth. i dont know why but god spared my life then and once before when i was a little baby. i fell out of a basket and the same thing happened. except i didnt see anything. if i did i dont remember. why god spared my life i dont know. but i do that every time i have been in some type of situation like that, god has kept his hand on me and i honestly dont know why. why am i so important? what makes me so special that he would spare my life? after all he stuff i have gone through i know for a fact that i should be deader then a door knob!yet here i am. alive and running around like there is nothing wrong. it just boggles my mind and i know i dont deserve this. how can some one have so much mercy? ive been raised in this and i still dont get it? how can he have so much love and be so forgiving?i should have died numerous times. i have been in situations that my parents dont even know about that i should have died in. i guess what im trying to say that even though i may never understand i am thaknful and so glad to be alive and able to do anything. bro. elms is right. what is the chance that some one like me could be born into a family like i have. what are chances that i would be born into an apostolic life style. there are so many more things i could talk about. this is one of the more recent ones. there have been others after that but i wont get into that. we dont need to take this for grantite.take advantage of it. dont ever stop. the only thing i can do is give god my best.